Depression, Resilience and Changes in the Air


This period of my life has been really difficult to get through. Everything was on top of the world and then it slowly came crashing down. I rekindled a romantic relationship with an old boyfriend that I thought was going to be the end of my loneliness and depression. But it wasn't. Luis left for Long Beach which left me without my friend and roommate. I was almost kicked out of my Master's Program for financial aid issues. I also lost my aunt to cancer and my father lost his job of many years. It was a rough period for me.

Some how from all that depression and change came hope. I realized that life is so short. I have to enjoy it. Instead of being depressed that I'm getting older, I should celebrate that I am still alive and living in Los Angeles. I just got back from a trip to Vegas with friends and I am totally trying to live in the now. I'm even getting a new gay roommate which will be very exciting! Life is looking up again.

More Changes and a Shitty Economy

More Changes

Well the new gay roommate never worked out. Luckily my straight friend from work moved in. I have never had a straight guy roommate before. It was interesting. He stayed with me for a year then he moved out. Interestingly enough Luis decided to move back in. Things were ok for a while and life was going along. The economy started getting shitty and I started doing tons of cardio with Lola! I put in most of my free time to working out!

Things with Luis went bad again. I realized this time though that we go through this cycle constantly. As I get older I quickly start realizing the people in life who are really your friends. So needless to say Luis moved away, and Rafael moved in. Which reminds me that I've lived in the same rent-controlled apartment since I first moved to LA. How crazy is that! I love my place :)

Lola had to undergo tons of treatments for a bad cornea. It made me face her mortality, my mortality, and the fact that now I was broke in a broke economy! I was a little sad for a while because there had been so much change in my life, but I'm still optimistic. The results of the gym are really starting to show and being broke has taught me how to spend my money wisely. I think I'm growing into my 30's with a new sense of maturity. It's still dificult dealing with aging though! I'm definitely not in my 20's anymore! But I am a little wiser. And I still feel very lucky to live in such a beautiful place. I love you California! I'm still single but I'm slowly starting to want to settle down. Every year the little voice in my head gets louder and louder, and it says, "you need to find someone to settle down with already!"