May 11th, 2004

There is a Buddha inside all of us

Hound Dog

I wanted to share the basset hound picture with you guys. Those of you that know me know what a dog freak I am, I love kitties too (don’t worry Rocco). I have a daily calendar with the cutest pictures in it. Workman Publishing makes the calendar and I will update the blog with different pictures that I find cute. I hope you guys like this one.

I was at the bookstore this Saturday with Rafael and I bought Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. If the name sounds familiar he wrote the DaVinci Code which is one of my all time favorite books. If you haven’t checked out Dan Brown’s website, it has an awesome online game that you can play in the spirit of the DaVinci Code. It rocks, especially if you live puzzles. I also bought the Dalai Lama’s How to Practice the way to a Meaningful Life. I’ve been meaning to expand my spiritual in buddhism.

Angels & DemonsLet me begin with Angels and Demons. This book was actually written before the DaVinci code. It involves the same lead as the other book and it actually has many, many similiarities. Actually it’s complete formula. If you liked DaVinci code then you will automatically like this one. At one point I thought I was reading the same book. At first I was mad but I finished the book in two days and a half so he really has perfected his formula. This time around we find ourselves in Italy and the suspense surrounds the very mysterious Illuminiati cult and the Vatican. I think more than anything this novel makes me want to go to Italy so damn bad! I know it’s not a travel book but damn, I almost booked my flight to rome yesterday….one day!

The book had the same twists and turns as DaVinci code, very very similiar twists. There is the anonymous (h)assassin who never meets his master. And of course there is always some genious slut who saves the world and then looses all her intelligence because she needs to make love to Landon…..but don’t get me wrong I’m only critical because I love! This book had me raptured. It’s the third book that I read from Brown, and he always delivers. Check out Digital Fortress if you want DaVinci code with a techno geek twist. It’s great! NSA all the way!

Iluminati DiamondBecause of this book now I know if I ever got a tattoo it would definately be the Illuminati diamond or Diamond & Diamond. It’s a perfect ambigram because any way you turn it, it looks the same. It incorporates the elements of early science: earth,air,fire and water. I included a picture so that you guys can see it. I fell in love with the design since I saw it. Tilt your head sideways, it looks the same! No WAY! I know.

I just started reading the Dalai Lama’s book. Even though I’ve only ready the introduction and the first chapter I know I am going to enjoy this book immensely. The book is basically a how to guide on how to life your life better utilizing the approaches that are common in Buddhist teachings. Usually I am bothered by any type of organized religion, people often mistakenly think that I am athiest, which I am not, I just don’t believe in most organized religions, especially the Catholic Church! Anyways I’ve always liked eastern religions because they focus internally instead of on external events which one has no control over.

Dalai LamaThe book is also a great introduction to buddhism philosphy. I’m currently starting on the four noble truths. In case you are wondering the four noble truths are the beginnings of a path that will lead to contemplation and enlightenment. I wont bore you with all the details but the four truths are:

  1. Know the specific types of suffering within us
  2. Discover what causes these sufferings
  3. Figure out if it is possible to remove these causes
  4. Determine how to go about removing the causes

It’s great because the book goes into great detail. Currently I’m in the section that describes the different types of suffering. I’ll end tomorrow’s blog with the different types of suffering and what I got out of that chapter! Till then.

May 5th, 2004

Coffee Mug Collection

Key West Coffee Cup

I just added a new hobby to my list. Everytime I go on vacation now I will be hunting down a coffee mug with the location that I am visiting. I figure people collect all kinds of tacky stuff when they are on vacation, which I love, so I figured I’ll actually collect something that I use daily!

I’m a huge java nut! I must drink at least two cups a day, which I’m sure is great for my blood pressure! I have a couple of cool mugs that I use, and currently my favorite cups are the two key west coffee mugs that I picked up during my last trip. When I take my vacation in June I’m not coming back until I have a coffee cup from Las Vegas and Los Angeles. And of course I’ll be taking pictures of them to show you guys, after all what’s the point of my digital camera if I don’t use it often!

My search for apartments on the beach is going very slow. Every place tells me that I have to wait until the end of May before I start looking. This really sucks because I want everything worked out before I go on my trip. I hope it all works out. If I had to guess I’ll probably be going with Streamline Properties, only because their pet fees are super low and I wouldn’t have to pay the application fee. Also they were the first company I went with when I moved to beach and I really liked them.

May 4th, 2004

The Ring Affects Pets Too

This is what happens when your pets watch The Ring. The movie showed that when people watch the home-made video any pictures that they appear in are blurred out. However, no one ever knew the same thing could happen to your pets if they are exposed to the same video… Click here to see how much does this pooch cost.

Lola and Rocco
Rocco tries to protect Lola by blocking her view of the movie.

Lola and Rocco
Lola, hard-headed like her master, watches in defiance.

Lola and Rocco
Now any picture I take of them comes out blurry.

Lola and Rocco
Who knows how much time they have left!

Try the best vacuum for hardwood floors and pet hair now!

May 2nd, 2004

Being Naughty and Mean Girls

Mean GirlsThis weekend I had a blast. Saturday I had planned to meet Roscoe at South Beach so that I can scout out some apartments and hang out at Lincoln Road. I figured we’d watch a movie somewhere in there also. My parents were supposed to come up to see the Air and Sea Show, but that never happened. They canceled because my grandparents were misbehaving! When I found this out I called Rafael to see if he wanted to come with me to South Beach. Of course he did, so we were soon under way.

I missed Lincoln Road so much! When you live in SoBe you are either a Lincoln Road person or an Ocean Drive person. I typically stay away from Ocean Drive because there are too many people, and it’s very touristy. I prefer people watching at Lincoln where the Cafe’s have a little bit more room and the vibe is more relaxed. So many stores opened since I was last there. I didn’t get a chance to go to Cafeteria, but Roscoe said the service and food were not that great. I believe they are open 24 hours though, so I’m sure I’ll check it out when I move there! I also checked out Rick’s NYC store. It’s like a souped up Eckerd for DragQueens. It was awesome! They had wigs, beauty products, and lots of gag novelty stuff. The second floor is all about naughty adult stuff and that was lots of fun.

We must have walked up and down Lincoln Road a couple of times because by the time I had my nag champa incense from the 9th Chakra and Roscoe got his 15 minute tarot reading, I was already hungry. We decided to try out Pasha’s. It’s on my old street where Lunatika used to be. It’s a mediterranean fast-food restaurant that apparently has a couple of stores in Miami. I loved it. I had some pizza thingie that has a funny name with aged cheese. It was yummy. Rafael had the Classical Yanni, which when he opened it, we though he farted; enough said. BTW: Be careful Yanni came back up several times to haunt Rafael and anyone within a one-mile radius of him! Not cute at all.

PashaIt was fucking hot so we decided to go to Roscoe’s place. He’s living with his sister who bought a condo by the Bay. The view was amazing. She had the cutest view of the bay and the cruise ships. I could stare at that view for days. The apartment was cute but it felt a bit tight. I did like the blue paint she used for the kitchen, and when I get my place I want that color for my room or bathroom, or both! I need to get the color from her. Don’t let me forget! After cooling down at Roscoe’s, we decided to watch Mean Girls. I’ve been meaning to watch this movie for a while now. Roscoe and Rafael thought it was a teeny-bopper movie, but it really wasn’t. It was hilarious. I love love Lindsay Lohan. I think she’s a great actress. The movie had me laughing so many times. It had a great ending too. It comes highly recommended from the three of us. We had a great time watching it. After the movie it was pouring so Rafael and I made a run for it to the car and Roscoe went home. We got soaked but had so much fun. I miss SoBe so much! The vibe was so nice. Can’t wait to go back, hopefully I’ll get something in my old hood two blocks from Lincoln. I have my fingers crossed!

Las Vegas/LA TripI’m happy to announce that Rafael has joined the caravan to go to Las Vegas. He just bought his ticket today and Rob and I are so excited. We are going to have so much fun. Since Rafael is coming the price drops for everyone staying at the hotel, and we get to Geek Out at the Star Trek Hotel in Las Vegas. Watch for the video renactment of the lost episodes of Star Trek when the HomoCrew takes the deck of the Enterprise! Rafael also came up with a great idea. Since LA is only three hours away, we are taking a day trip while in Las Vegas to LA. Rafael and Rob have never been so it’s going to be great. I’m already thinking of all the sites we are going to hit while we are there, and of course we’ll spend most of the time in West Hollywood! Hey Ho, Hey Ho, WeHo! I’m so pumped for this vacation it’s not even funny. I’m taking yet another loan against my 401k to pay for my vacation and pay my deposit for the apt. on the beach. Yeh! What’s the point of putting money away if you don’t use it right :)

Lastly I have to mention my new hobby, which isn’t so new but has gotten lots of “exposure” lately. Most people who know me know that I love to be an exhibitionist. My favorite thing to do is to have sex outdoors. Somewhere safe of course, I don’t like to be carried away by the police, it would make for a bad mug shot with leaves and shit on my face. Luckily for me there is this nice little park in New River Village that I love love to use. It’s quiet, dark, and very secluded. My three favorite things. I’ve had a couple of guys meet me out there for some x-rated fun. It’s great. It’s right by the river too which is very calming. Tonight I had the hotest guy there. We agreed to meet while we were talking on AOL. He actualled lived across the river. We was so fucking hot and had a huge dick. When it popped out of his Hidden Parkpants it almost slapped me across the face. Needless to say we had a great time. This may defiantely be my new addiction. After all what are parks good for afterdark if you don’t deal or use drugs? In honor of my new hobby here is my favorite Kelis Song, you know her from MilkShake, it’s called In Public, and she performs it with Nas her beau:

See its this thing (Kelis)

I like bein seen outside

In my ride (Your tasty)

I like it everywhere (cookies tasty)


(Ohh Yeah Let’s Go)

He was next to me

Our flight was supposed to leave around 2:53

All I wanted to see

Is what would he do if I drop down to my knees

I wanna play your game

Is someone comin’ it don’t matter just the same

Try something fun with me

Let’s take our clothes off all over the balcony

Let’s get it on in public

Just let it go I promise that you’ll love it

Oh daddy don’t you wanna be my subject?

Ooh let’s get it on in public Ooh

Don’t try to run from me

I’ll make your toes curl up and make your body scream

Come take a walk with me

We can do it over there by all the trees

Drive this car real fast

I’ll lay my head down and i’ll make your body blast ow

Let’s get it on in public

Just let it go I promise that you’ll love it

Oh daddy don’t you wanna be my subject?

Ooh let’s get it on in public Ooh

Let’s make a movie baby

Can we get away with it (Open your legs) (I’ll be your animal)

All lights on (I wanna see you)

I like it when we do it to this song

Let’s make a movie baby

Can we get away with it (I’ll be your director) (Your so nasty)

All lights on

I like it when we do it to this song (Talk To Me)


The pussy or the mouth, that is the question

Like shakespeare but my erection is the case here

I ain’t got time to drive you all the way home

But instead i can slide you to a club bathroom or a resturant mens’ room

Then I can zoom in your womb

We both get what we want

Then we can assume

We doin what we was

Smokin that bud and chillin’

But first I gotta nut before anything you willin?

You wit it, its animal behavior

Let’s shake, I forgot who the sexy beast ma who slays ya

This is for the major who love the natural love makin

Outdoors, On the hood of your car

Nas is good at it all when it comes to gettin it raw

Do I have to convince ya naw

We don’t need hotel key

We jump in the truck and stain everything up

Slide your G string up

Let’s get it on in public

Just let it go I promise that you’ll love it

Oh daddy don’t you wanna be my subject

Ooh let’s get it on in public Ooh

Let’s get it on in public

Just let it go I promise that you’ll love it

Oh daddy don’t you wanna be my subject

Ooh let’s get it on in public Ooh

                – In Public by Kelis feat. Nas

April 28th, 2004

Withholding Evidence: Luis vs. Kelvis

SadnessIt took me a while to write this entry. In fact this incident happened many weeks ago. I debated whether to include it in my journal. I decided to post this entry because I don’t like holding back in my journal, and this incident affects my life greatly, since it deals with a close friend. Luis and I haven’t talked for a couple of months now and it all started with a falling out at Georgi’s Alibi…which already sounds very tragic doesn’t it?

Luis had asked Mrs. Broward and I to join him at Georgi’s Alibi. He had a date and wanted us to be around as a safeguard in case things got hairy. We got there and we thought the date was going fine. As soon as we approached and were introduced to the date, he left promptly. I think the combo of Mrs. Broward and I was too much for him to take :) Either case I am assuming that the date did not go so well. Luis was moody and not at a happy place. We sat at a table and I wanted to hear how everything went. My complete attention was on Luis. Mrs. Broward was distracted by the menu and what she was going to order.

I wanted to know all the details about the date, and Luis started to get bitchy with me, as he has done in the past. He tends to take it out on me when things aren’t going his way. I told him that I didn’t appreciate him snapping at me and he said something to the affect of, “stop being so sensitive”. At this point I was completly pissed and ready to go home. I waited till everyone finished their drinks and then I went home. They went off to get some coffee at JavaBoys.

I was so pissed because Luis had the nerve to tell me not to be so sensitive. This from a person who a majority of the time when he’s pissed I have to walk on egg shells because I don’t know what will piss him off. This from the person who always tells me not to blow up in his face because I hold up little incidents about things that bother him. Yet when I bring those small incidients up, he tells me to stop being so sensitive. Again, this is nothing new in Luis. It was something new in me. I was tired.

I didn’t want to take the bullshit anymore. This wasn’t the end of our friendship. All I wanted was a simple apology. Something that he did not supply, that night or the day after. He called the day after as if nothing had happened, which is such a bad pet peeve of mine. I hate avoiding issues by pretending that they never happened. I asked him if he was going to apologize for being a dick, to which he replied, “no, not at all”. That was the end of that phone call and coincidentally the end of our comunication and friendship.

It’s strange to me that with all that we’ve gone through in our friendship, something like this would last so long. But alas, reality is strange. I am optimistic about our friendship in the future but I’m done starting things up again. I’m ready to continue the dialogue of our friendship but want Luis to make this move. Until that time I’ll be missing his friendship. It’s strange not sharing my life with him.

On a lighter note, I have a new expensive hobby to add to my list, gay guesthousing. First my list of costly hobbies is:

  1. Gadgets! Gadgets! Gadgets! (I love buying them, using them, then getting the newer models)
  2. Moving Every Damn Year and not getting my Deposit Back (I hate this one!)
  3. Vacationing (Which I need to do more of.)
  4. Gay Guesthousing (Which is like vacationing but more expensive because of the gay tax.)

So it all started when we asked ourselves where do we buy a gold grill? We were really feeling in the mood for some bling bling teeth jewelry. and Island House at Key West. Next up is this June when I go with Rob to Las Vegas’ Blue Moon Ridge.Afterwards Island House at Key West. Next up is this June when I go with Rob to Las Vegas’ Blue Moon Ridge. After that I think I have my sights set on San Francisco’s Parker House. And then there is Palm Springs and the All Worlds Resort. I haven’t prepared myself mentally after that but I’m sure it will involve something international. For an international listing of gay guesthouses check out it’s awesome! There’s also a nice gay guesthouse in Columbia and Argentina that I want to check out!

April 25th, 2004

When I get to my Destination, I’m gonna kill Bill…

Kill Bill Vol. 2This weekend I didn’t do much except watch movies, alone. It sounds pathetic but I had a very dreary weekend. The good news is that I caught two very good movies, one that kicked ass, and the other one was very funny. The bad news is that I’ve been in a real shitty mood lately. I guess everyone is allowed to reminince about the good old days. It just hits me extra hard. I’m loning for the days of college when I had a tight knit group of friends and we would go everywhere together. We’re all spread across the US now and it’s hard to have that kind of group again.

I miss those guys and gals so much. Roscoe was telling me today that he spotted one of our old friends Vanessa on South Beach. He didn’t come up to her to say hi, I wish he had, I’m dying to know how she is doing. As we were all back in College, Vanessa was wild! She was so much fun to be around, unpredicatable, but always fun! She was the power fag hag. She could tell gay men in a room, even when they hadn’t come out themselves! It was great to be around her. I know she’s living somewhere in Broward. I’m sure I’ll run into her one of these days. The twins also told me that one of my old junior high friends is not only living in broward, but she is going to NOVA. What a crazy world! After Junior High she left to Pakistan to finish her schooling there and now she’s back in the states. I look forward to getting together with her to see how her life has been going. I hear she has an arranged marriage in the works, which is wild.

I think by moving back to Miami Beach I’ll be better situated. For all the things that are worng with South Beach I somewhere felt that I belonged there. Fort Lauderdale doesn’t make me feel like I belong here. I still feel like a tourist somehow. I’d be the first to say what an awesome city Fort Lauderdale is. I’m just a big-time Miami boy who’s home sick. My ideal situation would be to move back to the beach and have all my friends there. But as is always the case in life, you don’t always get what you want and you deal with what you are dealt. Roscoe will probably leave two or three months after I move there. We have this strange magnet which only lets us live in the surronding area for a maximum of three months. It’s very strange.

Connie and CarlaMy ideal plan would be to live in South Beach for a year and then hopefully get relocated to Los Angeles. Watching Connie and Carla made me want to move to West Hollywood yesterday! Actually any movie that takes place in LA makes me want to move there. That’s a fucking lot of movies! But that is too much in the future for even me to think about. As experience has shown my company is nuts, and when they get their shit together then we can talk relocation to LA. Although I am destined to move to the West Coast. It’s always been my dream and it will happen :) I’m already paying California State Income Tax, which sucks, since I live in Florida.

Anyways, Carla and Connie was great. The movie was very cute. It wasn’t My Big Fat Greek funny, but it was very cute. I love Nia Vardalos. I loved her since My Big Fat Greek Wedding. The movie is somewhat predicatable but it’s definately enjoyable and David Duchovny is adorable! I was never that much into him but ever since he started taking these supporting actor love role acts, he’s super cute! It was nice to see the theatre filled with gay guys, Of course I went to the gay theatre on Sunrise, but that’s a different story. This week is the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival which I have missed for two years in a row. Next year when I live in SoBe, I vow to go to this damn thing. They are showing awesome movies. Actually I might catch a few because they are showing some in Fort Lauderdale, in the ground floor of my building.

Kill Bill Vol. 2 was great! If you liked Vol. 1 you’ll like this one. I would dare to say this one is a little slower than part 1 but it’s defiantely great. I cried laughing out loud with the martial arts instructor. He was hilarious. And the way he loved his beard was out of this world. He was great! I think the movie had a great ending. Uma looked amazing as always. The fight scene with Daryl Hannah was great. The only thing I didn’t get is why in part 1 and 2 whenever they would say Uma’s character’s name they would bleep it out until the end. I thought that was kind of weird. I missed that. If anyone figured it out let me know.

My birthday is coming up and maybe that’s why I’m so moody. In fact I’m sure that’s why. I don’t really hate getting older, I think it builds character, but I feel this past year for me was stagnant. At least it looks that way to my pessimistic mind. Really I accomplished many things. I started my Master’s Program in Computer Science. I successfully weened myself of psychotropic drugs and I think healed myself from my anxieties, lastly I think I have gained more self-respect and confidence than I had in the past. These are all very huge things. Of course in the accomplishing of these tasks I put on a couple more pounds than I would like, which always brings me down. So I’m back with my diet and a promise. I want to loose five pounds by the time I go to Las Vegas, and I want to loose 10 pounds by the time I move back the beach. The rest will come during the summer.

Rocka AwardOn a happier note, I was the runner up for the prestigous award, “Best erotic photographs Blog”. I guess next time I’ll have to post nastier pics and nastier writing to get the coveted first place :) Thanks Rocka! If you get a chance check out his blog at Rocka.

I got my Madonna tix in the mail! So happy. The tix I just got are the pit seats that I’m going to sell/give to Roscoe. Don’t know yet how that’s gonna pan out. Just glad that I got them. It’s gonna be a great summer. I can feel it. I know this depression that I’ve had lately is partly due to getting older, and just stuck where I’m at in life. I have the forsight to know that it will pass and I’ll be back to myself in no time.

Oh and I just picked up a Flash text book that teaches how to do Flash Games. So be on the lookout for some new flash games, style :) You know TinaSlut will be the main hero in all the games :) And for those of you who find yourselves in the same mood that I’m in, I dedicate this song to you, it’s my current favorite song by Liz Phair and it’s called Extraordinary:

You think that I go home at night

Take off my clothes, turn out the lights

But I burn letters that I write

To you, to make you love me

Yeah, I drive naked through the park

And run the stop sign in the dark

Stand in the street, yell out my heart

To make, to make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you’d ever get to know me

I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary

Average every day sane psycho


Average every day sane psycho

You may not believe in me

But I believe in you

So I still take the trash out

Does that make me too normal for you?

So dig a little deeper, cause

You still don’t get it yet

See me lickin’ my lips, need a primitive fix

And I’ll make, I’ll make you love me

I am extraordinary, if you’d ever get to know me

I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary

Average every day sane psycho


Average every day sane psycho


See me jump through hoops for you

You stand there watching me performing

What exactly do you do?

Have you ever thought it’s you that’s boring?

Who the hell are you?

I am extraordinary, if you’d ever get to know me

I am extraordinary, I am just your ordinary

Average every day sane psycho


Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho


Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho


Average every day sane psycho

Average every day sane psycho

            – Extraordinary by Liz Phair

April 21st, 2004

First Time at the Escorting Game

EscortIt’s official: I had my first escort. I was always curious about doing it, and people I have met told me it was an interesting experience. Being the curious person that I am I went ahead and did it. When I chose the guy I wanted someone who was down to earth and was very hot. I have a picture of him on my site, I hope I’m not compromising his integrity or anything. He has his pics posted all over his profile on AOL, which is where I met him.

I thought I was going to be more nervous than I actually was. But I handled it all like a pro. He was actually hotter and beefer in person. And surprisingly he was actually straight. Now usually you get the ghetto gays who pretend like they are soo straight, until they start having sex then you know they are not straight at all. This guy was different though. He had a straight porn set up and was using that to keep everything going smooth :) I have to admit that this turned me on more than anything else. It was fucking hot. I also knew he was straight because straight boys treat asses like they were vaginas, without going into details I’m glad I had my poppers with me to help me relax. Because he was ready to fuck like a bunny.

In the end it was a very hot experience and I didn’t feel dirty about it. I always wondered if I would. But I guess I’m comfortable enough with my skankiness to be cool with it. It was definately an experience that I’m glad that I went through, but I don’t think I would do it again, mostly because I’m cheap and that shit is not cheap to do at all! At all!! This all went down a couple of weeks ago, but I was hesitant to write about it on the blog. I decided to write about it because it’s something that I’m not ashamed about and I made a promise to myself to live my life openly, so I’m going through with that promise!

Speaking of escorts and hookers, Rob and will be going to Las Vegas in June! I can’t wait. We are going to have a blast. I love Las Vegas, but I’ve only gone with the parents so this will be a treat to do a while gay resort. Hopefully Rafael will be able to go with us, I know he’s dying to go, we’ll find out!!

SoBeAlso big news on the moving front. I am moving in July, but it’s not where you think. LA has been postphoned. I’m moving back to Miami. Speficially South beach. I miss it so much. I never thought I would say it but I miss Miami so hardcore! Fort Lauderdale is great but it’s not as exciting and beautiful as Miami Beach. I’ll have to give up secured parking and laundry in my apartment, but fuck it, I can’t wait to move! I think that now that all my anxiety has subsided that I will be once again ready to live back in SoBe. I’ll be looking for places in May so I’ll post some pics when I have a clue as to which places I have narrowed it down to.

April 21st, 2004

Kelvis Korner for Sale!

This is just a quick entry to let everyone know that my online store is now up and running. Check it out by going to the store which is sponsored by CafePress. The direct link to the store is: Now get out there and buy something! I’ll write a full blog entry tonight, once I finish all my work!

April 18th, 2004

Getting Back to Myself

Last night Roscoe, Rafael, Rodrigo, Mario and I all went out to Georgi’s and the Copa. Everytime I go out on a Saturday night and drink too much I always take the whole day Sunday to recover from binge drinking. It always leaves me a bit depressed. Which isn’t always that bad. Today for instance I thought a lot about the things that I value and how I’ve slowly gone away from that.

For instance the last entry when I said I was going to do steroids. I’ve never sold myself out before in the past by taking the quick and easy road. From my past experiences I know you pay more for it in the end. In the end I decided not to do steroids, and when I get to the body that I want, it will be that much more sweet because I did it all through hard work and commitment. And of course, there will be no nasty needles invovled! Which is always a good thing.

When I went out this weekend there are a lot of things that I noticed that I don’t like about some of my friends. They always act according to what people are going to think of them. I hate that type of thinking. It puts such walls around a person that you loose personality and just become another gay android. It’s really sad actually. Because those types of people are usually very very self-concious about themselves, yet they pretend like they are super cool when they are really dying inside to be themselves.

Because of that I will definately make a stronger commitment to be the person that I am. I think I’ve come a long way in my life and the more I live the more I know it’s a lot better to be yourself. It’s hard to do that when you are around people who not only don’t share your philosophy but actually believe in the complete opposite. It’s sad because so many people in South Florida suffer from this. You’ll see people driving the latest cars, wearing the latest clothes, and declaring bankruptcy all in one breath. I’d rather live within my means and enjoy life more, instead of being a slave to labels and society’s pressure.

Next entry I’ll talk about my first escort experience and how interesting it was :) I have to go finish up some school work now!

April 14th, 2004

It’s Been a While!

Madonna Reinvention TourSchool has me so out of it. It seems that I am having tons of trouble catching up. Last weekend I spent all of Saturday working on an assignment that was due at midnight. It was rough and I thought that I would get a bad grade, but it turns out that I got an A! I’ve gotten straight A’s so far but I’m scared about the papers that I have to write for these classes. They each require a 50-page and 100-page paper. It makes me want to give up on this Master’s thing!! But I keep going because I know I can make it, it’s just rough. The classes themselves are easy, it’s just the time that one has to put into it, while everyone is having fun on the weekends I am stuck at home studying! Yuck!

I barely even have time to write in my blog! Two things are keeping my excited: my Las Vegas trip in June and Madonna’s Reinvention Tour. Originally I was going to sell my two extra tickets to the highest bidder, that way I could recover my costs from Las Vegas :), but Roscoe gave me the sad pathetic talk about how he didn’t get tickets and so well I ended up giving them to him for the price that I paid for them. Of course the concert is in August so if he’s still interested and around then I’ll give it to him, otherwise ebay all the way! I bet I can make at least a thousand bucks selling them, they are floor seats two rows away from Madonna. Crazy I know!

Las VegasMy company made me so crazy about my relocation I just told them straight out that I was renewing here in Fort Lauderdale for another six months to let them get their shit together. I’m not sure if I’m ever moving to Los Angeles this decade, but at least I know I’m trying my best. As soon as they give me the pay raise and the relocation costs I’m West Coast, until then South Florida all the way!! I was going to stay at New River Village but the renewing lease is much more expensive so we might rent a house in Wilton Manors, which will make Lola very happy! We have to wait until June though because our lease is up in July.

I bought a gigantic desk for the pc that I built from pieces and it’s taking up most of the room. I moved it so many times making changes to the computer that I think I severely damaged the damn desk. If I move I don’t know how the hell I’m going to get the desk through my room door. I guess I’ll figure it out! I’m liable to buy the same desk at the new place and just move the other stuff, I’m that lazy! This time though I would definately put the desk on wheels. I bought the furniture sliders at Home Depot which work nicely except that the base of the desk was so tight that I couldn’t lift it to put those damn things, hence the ripping and tearing underneath the desk :)

Coming Back from Key West I was so excited that I already have my next vacation planned out. Rob and I are going to Las Vegas to the Blue Moon Resort. It’s the first resort in Las Vegas that is gay. It’s beautiful and raunchy just like Island House in Key West. We are going in the middle of June and it should be a blast. I love Vegas and the fact that we are staying at a gay resort should be great. I definately want to see Celine Dion and Cirque de Soleil’s O while I’m there. Hopefully I won’t spend all my savings there :) Check out the pictures of the resort on the webpage, they have an amazing looking pool. I’ll be sure to take pictures.

Diggy CamSpeaking of pictures, I’m debuting my new digital camera, which I haven’t bought yet but will in a couple of hours, at Las Vegas. I’ve been wanting this camera for a while. It’s thin which will fit into my pocket but powerful enough to have 5 MegaPixels. It’s so damn pretty too. Just when I clear up my Best Buy card, there is always something new to buy! I can’t wait to play with it. I was going to wait till this weekend to get it, but you know me, I’d rather drive to Pembroke Pines to get it than wait! Hello! If you want to see the specs on the camera check them out here. I have so many gadgets now that I don’t know what to do with them all!! With my laptop, gameboy advanced, iPod, and now my diggy cam I’m running out of plugs around the house.

Mario and I decided to do Steroids. We were tired of being nasty and fat. He has a friend who is hooking us up with the stuff but it’s fucking expensive as shit. I realize it’s illegal drugs, but damn there should be some regulations here. I’m a bit nervous because I’m a chicken shit, especially when it deals with needles but I want to see what kind of effect it has on my body. I’ve never been the addictive type so I know I can do one cycle and stop, especially at the price that we are getting it, believe me I’ll only be doing one cycle. The guy is coming today to talk about what we need and then he’s going to make the order.

Steroids!I’ll let you guys know the real scoop on if it works, if there are nasty side effects or what not. I know you shouldn’t drink while you are on a cycle because the steroids does a number on the liver, which is fine with me because I barely drink now, only when I”m on vacation or going out to bars which is rarely lately. Once I’ll take before and after pics and let you guys be the judge if there was a difference or not. Yeh! I love being a science guinea pig.

Well this was a long entry for me. I have to wrap up work and head to Best Buy!!! Until next time.

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"I have quite a collection of journals. It's not so much that I write a lot. I have this bad habit of starting a new journal when I start a new chapter in life. Either I have had many turning points in my life, or I just wanted an excuse to buy new journals!"

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