GO BACK TO THE BLOG

Ups and Downs

I have no idea where to go from here. I feel so paralyzed by fear. Everything that I had setup for myself is now changing. My roommate is leaving. Mark is no longer coming to California to live with me. It just seems that I have to write a new story. A new adventure. But I don’t want to. I don’t like things changing. And changing fast they are. I’ll probably end up just leaving this apartment that I’ve had for three years. It’s the longest stay at an apartment that I’ve ever had. I’ll probably down-size to a 1 bedroom. I can’t deal with getting another roommate and not being compatible. I did that before. It doesn’t help. It will be lonely but I’m lonely now. So it won’t be a new feeling for me.

I know that I’ll get over this funk eventually and life will be vibrant and in color again. But for now it’s just really hard. I’m so not motivated to make new friends. I’m definately not motiavated to find a new lover. I guess a change will do me good. A new apartment will give me something to do. I’ve been listening to one of my favorite artists Nelly Furtado, and she has a song that nails what I’m going through head on. It’s called Why Do All Good Things Come to an End. I included the lyrics below because it definately speaks volumes to me about what’s going with my life.

Why Do All Good Things Come to an End

Honestly what will become of me
don’t like reality
It’s way too clear to me
But really life is dandy
We are what we don’t see
Missed everything daydreaming

[Chorus]
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Traveling I only stop at exits
Wondering if I’ll stay,stay
young and restless
Living this way I stress less
I want to pull away when the dream dies
The pain sets in and I don’t cry
I only feel gravity and I wonder why

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end

come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Dogs were whistling a new tune
Barking at the new moon
Hoping it would come soon so that they could
Die die die die die

Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
Flames to dust
Lovers to friends
Why do all good things come to an end
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?
come to an end come to an
Why do all good things come to an end?

Well the dogs were barking at a new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon
And the sun was wondering if it should stay
away for a day til the feeling went away
And the sky was falling on the clouds were dropping and
the rain forgot how to bring salvation
the dogs were barking at the new moon
Whistling a new tune
Hoping it would come soon so that they could die.

3 Comments »

No comments yet.

RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URL

Leave a comment

GO BACK TO THE BLOG

































































































































































Monthly Picture

"I have quite a collection of journals. It's not so much that I write a lot. I have this bad habit of starting a new journal when I start a new chapter in life. Either I have had many turning points in my life, or I just wanted an excuse to buy new journals!"


My FacePlace

KelvisWeHo Tweets
    follow me on Twitter

    Buy My Stuff!

    My Voice

    Archives

  • Categories

  • Contact

    Fav Blogs
    Blogroll Me!

    Gay DVD's @ Amazon


    ShoutOuts!
    blogKomm ... comments without popups
    Blogarama - The Blog Directory