Kelvis Korner Blog
Adventures of a gay Internet Programmer in Southern California. I have enough wacky friends and hilarious stories to keep you interested, or at least mildly amused!
Sex and the City Tribute: 24 Hour Relationships
This is the third time that I try to publish this blog. The past two times my information was deleted. So this will be the fast and dirty version. In honor of Sex and the City ending, I am dedicating this entry to Carrie’s writing style. The ending of the series was very disappointing to me. It seemed very rushed and everyone ended up with someone. I thought the whole point of the series was single ladies doing it on their own? I believe in happy endings just not everyone being happy. For such a believable series, the ending was very hard to swallow. Hopefully they’ll revisit the girls again in the future. Here now is my Sex and the City blog…
My roommate may not have invented the 24 hour relationship, but he has definately perfected it. It all started back when we all lived on the beach. South Beach is a very strange island to live in. The first hint of experimentation towards a 24 relationship was when Lucca was dating the Doctor man. They were dating for a couple of months (and when I say months I mean it in the loosest form possible) when they decided to start looking for apartments. Everything was going great, they were in love, they were looking for a place, and the Doctor man had introduced Lucca to the mom. Lucca had an all access pass to his life until the Doctor man stopped. He stopped calling, he stopped hanging out, he stopped being in love. While most readers may think this behavior is strange, I assure you that this is very common for Miami Beach. In fact we have a term for it: sobechera. When you place gay men in such a small island with other hot men, something has got to give. That something is meaningful relationships. Boys who were in love one minute find themselves tricking for sex at Flamingo Park. Others neglect calling to end a relationship but they can still be seen at the same bars that you met them, and they never loose a beat.
The seeds of the 24 hour relationship germinated in Miami Beach and blossomed in Fort Lauderdale. Mr 24 who we’ll call Fink orginated as a hookup. A hookup and a 24 hour relationship differ ever so slightly. There is definately more chemistry in the latter. Mr Fink came over and Lucca and him had their fun. Apparently there was a spark because Mr Fink called the next day. A hookup would never under any cirmcumstance do that. He might send you an instant message, but that’s about it. Mr Fink had to travel to faraway Bulgaria for work. From there he must have called Lucca about half a dozen times. I can’t even imagine the cost of those phone calls, it would probably be more than if I called every relative that I had in Cuba and talked to them for about 10 minutes. But I digress. The phone conversations is the phase of the relationship that I like to call: getting to know you. This can take years in a normal relationship, but in the 24 hour everything is revealed as fast as possible.
As soon as Mr. Fink came back from the trip he was over our apartment. This is typical of a 24 hour relationship because it always tends to peak too soon. Lucca was already annoyed because he was very early. They decided to get some food and watch a movie. By the time they had returned from getting food I was convinced that Fink was deeply in love. They had a couple of small fights, but everything was working out fine. Instead of watching Passion of the Christ they decided to procreate a couple of sins of their owns. By the time that Lucca woke up the next morning he was already over Fink. Fink was a morning person, and annoying at that, and Lucca just wasn’t having it. At this point a regular relationship has a marriage counselor, a 24 hour relationship has sex as the mediator. But not even the power of sex can cure everything.
By the time that Lucca was at work the relationship was over. Lucca had broken up in his mind. Fink was more in love than ever. He was already envisioning their life together, and in the back of his mind was making arrangements for the ring ceremony. Lucca broke up over IM and Fink was heartbroken. He tried getting back together but it was useless, the 24 hours had expired, there was no chance. And so the perfect 24 hour relationship was born: part romance, part sex, part companionship, all efficient.
This led me to wonder, has our society become so fast-paced that we need 24 hour relationships to match our fastfood 24 hour culture?
Just when I thought this was the trend we were heading in, I remembered across town in a very far off place called Kendall, RafLo was busy perfecting the Never Ending Relationship. While at first it sounds sweet, it drips with sarcasm.
I equate the Never Ending Relationship with the Never Ending Story. The first movie was great, sweet and you wanted more. By the time the second and third movie came out, you wondered why they spent so much time and effort? Could they possibly make another film? But why? Yet they did. This is how the Never Ending Relationship rolls out: Raylo comes over every weekend. And then like clockwork the following happens:
- The ball and chain pisses RayLo off by going out on his own.
- RayLo swears he will break up with him and get his own place with a hypoallergenic dog breed.
- He spends the weekend with us living out his single fantasies
- Sunday he comes down, gets down, and goes home to have “the talk”.
- The talk turns into I’m sorry.
- RayLo and the ball and chain have I’m sorry sex.
This cycle repeats weekend after weekend, which gives Lucca and I dizzy spells. But you have to love it. RafLo does convince himself everytime that he will do it. But like I say, how many sequels can you make that makes The Never Ending Story interesting? You already know the white fluffly drago can fly and is super friendly. Yet RafLo keeps it going.
While these two sides of the extreme are definately at play, I decide to stay out. There was a time when I longed for a relationship but the truth of the matter is that I am very happy at where I am at right now. I’m successful professionally, my social life is blossoming, and my self-confidence is rising. I’ll play it out until the 24 hour relationship and the Never Ending Relationship cancel each other out. Till then I’ll be single and ready to mingle…..
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