Archive for December, 2003

Another Great New Year’s Eve

Wednesday, December 31st, 2003

Happy 2004! Well last New Year’s Eve blew chunks. Mario and I went to Roscoe’s apartment and we had some champagne. After Mario and I were severly drunk we headed over to Lincoln Road. By the time we got there it was already the new year. We completly missed it. It was one of the worst new year’s that I had ever had. I vowed never to have such a horrible new year’s like that. Of course it was topped this year.

This year I was going to head over to my parents house. Since Mario threw a hissy fit, I decided to stay with him and spend it together. I figured we’d go out to the bars late at night or something like that. I was livid when Mario tells me at 3:30pm today that he’s going to Disney World with Rodrigo. I can’t fucking believe it. Not only did he not care that he was leaving me here alone, he didn’t even invite me to go. I wish I could say that this is uncharacterisitic of Mario, but sadly he pretty much does this all the time. It’s funny that he was mad at Rodrigo a couple of weeks back for doing the same thing.

So here I am now spending it alone. I was going to go to my parents but since I told them I was going to stay with Mario, they decided to go to my aunt’s. I really don’t know how to deal with Mario when he comes back. He really hurt me and I just don’t see him on the same level of friendship that I had him before. I see him more as a roommate/acquiantance now. He probably will find some stupid excuse that isn’t very convincing but honestly I’m not very interested. It’s going to be hell living with him for the next couple of weeks.

Today sucked. I’ll have to make tomorrow extra special.

Hungry as Sh*t!

Monday, December 29th, 2003

Well I started my new healthlier living today. I’m hungry as shit! I set up my goals, so I’ll reach my ideal wait by August. Hopefully by that time I’ll be closing on my new house! After careful thought and bouncing back and forth, I decided to buy a house in the fort lauderdale area. I’m not going to wait for the guys in LA to relocate me, it might take a very long time, if they ever do! I was going to buy a condo in South Beach, but realistically for a two bedroom condo on the beach I could probably get a decent three bedroom house with a yard in Fort Lauderdale. I’ve always wanted a yard for Lola to play with, and all the gay people seem to be moving up to Fort Lauderdale from SoBe. SoBe’s getting too expensive and touristy.

My First Home!Buying a house is going to be a scary process since I don’t even know where to begin. I’m looking on spending between $250,000 to $275,000. I want something cute in the Victoria Park area. The only part that worries me is my less than perfect credit! Once I get past that hurdle I’m going to have so much fun fixing up and decorating my new house. I want a three bedroom so that I can use the third bedroom as an office. That’s going to be so awesome! Hopefully by that time I’ll still be working from home.

All I need to do now is raise the down payment, or win the lottery. I have my fingers crossed. When I start looking at houses, I’ll post some pics of the places that I’m considering. That’s what I did when I rented my first apartment in South Beach. Rafael and I went through Victoria Park Sunday to look through houses. It was such a cute neighborhood, expensive but cute. There were tons of trees and foliage and there was a very strong gay community. Also it’s very suburban looking but it’s right next to downtown. Which is great.

Mario wants to go to Disney for the New Year and Rafael wants to go to Island House. We always seem to make grand plans but end up going nowhere. I really hope we go somewhere! I haven’t been to Orlando in a while, and I”m always ready to go to Key West. Dinner’s here, so I’m ending this blog short today!

Family Day a Success

Sunday, December 28th, 2003

Saturday was a full day for me! I woke up at 8:30am and went to sleep at 4:30am earlier that morning. I hooked up with this guy that I met online, he was so fucking hot! I went over to his place in Wilton Manors. I spent quite a bit of time over there and got quite the workout! When I came back home I realized that I had left my wallet inside the apartment and I had no way of getting in! Mario wasn’t home either! I was stranded.

Luckily I parked the car out back and found an open door that I was able to squeeze through. Even though I was barely awake Saturday morning, it was well worth it. The guy I hooked up with was very hot, muscular, he was cuban, and had an amazing uncut dick. Whew! Getting sweaty just thinking about it.

Anyways, Saturday my parents and my godparents were coming to my place so that I can take my mom and godmother to the spa for massages, it was my christmas present to them. I’m very proud of myself because usually when there is a family function I also get stressed out or anxious. Especially when it involves mixing other people with my family. I don’t know if it was the lexapro finally sinking into my brain, but I was very mellow and had a great time.

Frank Sepe's Book

Gus and mercy gave me a gift certificate to barnes and noble, a christmas wine holder, and a nice bottle of wine. It was great! I used the gift certificate to buy Frank Sepe’s new book about fitness and weight lifting. The book had great details and the cover looked hot! So I decided it was a good choice.

For lunch we went to the Cheesecake Factory on Las Olas. We ate so much food! I thought I was going to pop. My godfather paid for everyone, which was awesome because I was almost broke by them time that I paid for the two massages! We walked up and down Las Olas for a bit, and everyone had fun. It was nice to be out with my family for more than an hour at a time! After the walk my parents headed home and Mario, the godparents and I headed to best buy. They bought some memory for the camera and I bought the new Sarah McLachlan CD. I haven’t heard it yet because I let Mario borrow it. I hope it’s good! I’ll let you guys know.

Sarah McLachlan's AfterGlow Mercy and Gus hung out here and we went to the gym for about 30 minutes. Then we settled down to watch Terminator 3 and we ordered from Galanga, my favorite thai/japanese restaurant. They left around 10:03pm, and I went to sleep soon after, but not before I played some Hobbit on the PS2.

Today I was going to work on my website, play some ps2, and take it easy. However Rafael came over and we went to Barnes and Noble, where I bought the book. Then we went to Java Boys for some coffee, where I lost my debit card, again! I’ve lost it like 6 times already in two years. It’s a record. Afterwards we went to the arts and crafts fair in Wilton Manors. They had a lot of very nice shops set up. I was going to buy Arlet’s late christmas present, but the place that had what I wanted to buy didn’t accept credit cards, of course I had lost my credit card but I didn’t know that yet!

When we got home Rafael played some Castlevania, and mentioned yet again that he was going to break up with Tommy. AGAIN! I think it’s #234. I’ll keep counting. We still haven’t made plans for New Years, but Rafael said Tommy is leaving for the second weekend in January so we might hit Island House in Key West. I love that place, it’s a gay hotel, bathhouse all in one. I hope Rafael gets his credit card, otherwise he won’t be able to go! When we go I’ll snap some pictures of the place. It’s beautiful.

Insanity Runs in The Family

Friday, December 26th, 2003

Before I get into my blog, I placed a link to an mp3 that has a message from me so that those of you that are curious can hear my voice. I also placed a voting link so that you guys can vote for my blog and give it good ratings hopefully! I received my first email today from the contact page letting me know that at least one person who I don’t already know is reading my blog! It totally made my day today!

I had a pretty uneventful day today. I took Lola to the dog park for most of the morning. Since two days ago I’ve been feeling really tired. I hope it’s just symptoms of a cold, which everyons seems to have. Everytime I feel tired or feel a little sick I automatically think it’s an STD or something! You gotta love us hypocondriacts. I’ve never had an STD, unless you count that bacterial infection that I had once that made my pee burn so bad, but it wasn’t gonnerhea, chlymidia, or syphillis. It was an unspecificed bacterial infection! Yeah!

I spoke to Iris, my cousin on the phone today. I haven’t seen her in a long, long time. I feel bad because she suffers from the same type of anxiety and depression that my mother and I do. She gets pretty down and doesn’t ever get out of the house and shes reading how to tell if your husband is cheating all day long! The company where her husband and her work is about ot close down so she’s feeling very down lately. I was happy I was able to chat with her some. It’s always good to talk to another crazy person to know that you are not alone. I hope I made her feel better.

I can definately relate to her issues, because two years ago, I had just moved to my first apartment in South Beach and literally the next day, the company went under. I thought I was going to go nuts. It was a very hectic five months. But life always sorts things out and I ended up working from home and getting more money than I had before! I had major anxiety and paranoia along the way, but hey life gives you highs and lows, othewise it would be no fun!

Tomorrow my parents and godparents are coming over. I’m taking my mom and godmother for a massage, it’s my christmas present to both of them. The guys are going ot stay here and we’ll probably watch some tv or something. Afterwards we are all going out to eat, but I have no idea where to go. I was going to take them to this kickass chinese buffet I heard about, the Emerald Garden, but the godparents are on a diet so buffet food is a big no-no. It will all work out in the end I’m sure. I’ll think of something.

I’m really digging my gameboy advanced. I’m starting to play with it more than I do the playstation 2. I bought Zelda for it and have been playing it for a while. I took it to the dog park to play today but I couldn’t see shit because the sun was too bright. And a couple of dogs started to slobber over the screen, so I decided it wasn’t a good idea.

I never ended up going to my parents for Noche Buena. I felt kind of bad, but I started doing some errands with Mario and it ended up being like 5:00pm when we finished. We bought some more fishies, they didn’t have the genetically engineered glow fishes that I wanted, but I got some more neon tetras, and some transparent ones that I don’t know the names of. Mario thinks I am overcrowding the aquarium, but I think it’s just fine. Two more fish and it will be too tight. I think in a couple of months we’ll be upgrading to a big ass tank.

I made up not going to Noche Buena with my parents, by spending Christmas with the folks. I thought they were going ot be bad but they weren’t. I fixed my dad’s laptop some, chatted with my mom, ate some food, and took a nap. It was great! I wanted to go to the bathhouse, which I haven’t been in forever, but no one wanted to go with me. I think i’m going to have to build up the courage to go alone! No one wants to go!!! And we have two. The one near me on broward called The Club, and one on oakland called Clubhouse II which attracts a leather crowd. I’ve never been to the one on oakland and I’m very curious. I’ll post details as soon as I go! I love the one on broward blvd. It’s very clean and nice. Lots of hot guys, but lots of guys have attitude!

Noche Buena

Wednesday, December 24th, 2003

Pig Roast, Cuban Style.Well here it is Christmas Eve and I’m already dreading spending the night with the family. I was suppsed to wake up today and work from my parents house. But I always forget to factor in the lazy factor. So I’m still here wanting to do a thousand things before I head over to Hialeah, cuban headquarters. Like usual my dad wants to go to my Aunt’s at like 3:00pm. I’ll probably show up around 5:00pm to our house and then go over there for an hour or two. That’s how excited I am about going.

I woke up today and a friend called, we’ll call him Bob. I won’t give out his true identity because last time I talked about him in my journal, he brought up all these dramatic issues and threatened to sue. In a word he’s: drama. I love you, you know who you are. Well anyways, he woke up me to tell me that he slept over a friend’s house yesterday and basically seduced a straight guy into getting blown by him. I find that incredibly hot and so now I was horny and half asleep. What a way to start the day! All I need now are straight guy volunteers who need me to service them. Email me :).

Super Star! I saw the Best of Molly Shannon yesterday on DVD. It was pretty cute but it was so damn short, and it didn’t even have her best stuff, don’t even get me started! It was totally missing the Dog Show skits. Can you believe that? That’s her second best work next to the catholic girl. I also rented the best of Will Ferrel and I hope his DVD is better. It seems like they put together Molly Shannon’s DVD in a rush. Pity. I was expecting to laugh my ass off.

I have no idea what I’m doing for New Year’s Eve. I hope it’s not as lame as last year where Mario, Roscoe, Roscoe’s boyfriend, and I got drunk and then walked around Lincoln Road right at midnight. It sucked so bad! I was hoping to throw a party but Mario didn’t like that idea, and it was a bit too late. Hopefully Rafael will get his new credit card, and then it’s New Year’s Eve at Key West baby! We’ll see, I hope so. I would live in Key West if I had the chance! It’s so mellow and relaxed. And tons of fun! Well I guess I better start the day so I can get my ass off to my parents for the celebration. Happy Holidays.

GameBoy Advanced Madness

Tuesday, December 23rd, 2003

Well I stayed up last night until 3:00am playing with my new gameboy advanced. I can tell that I am going to use this thing alot! My thumbs hurt right now because I’ve been playing so much! And with the gameboy advanced it will give me something to do while I have Christmas Eve dinner with my family. It can get real boring at times.It matches the color of my laptop!

There are many times that I feel disconnected from my family. At big family functions especiialy. It’s part being gay and part growing up as an American. Even though they always make me feel welcome, I sometimes feel like an alien observing a new culture. I wish there were a way that I can connect with my extended family, and I’m definately making it one my goals tomorrow. I actually like my aunt and my cousin’s but we never talk. It seems that most of the family from my dad’s side is very to themselves. One day I hope to change all that.

I bought a tour book of Cuba from They make the best tour guides around. I really want to spend a summer with my dad in Cuba. I think it will bring us very close together if we spent that kind of bonding experience together. It will be both a financial and emotional costly trip. I’ve never been to Cuba since I was three years old and have no memories except for pictures of me that I don’t recognize. I am very scared to go over there and be rejected or left out because I’m gay, but I don’t think that will be the case. Check out their Guide Books!

I look forward to one day visiting my homeland and stepping foot in the places that I only know as memories. I think when that day comes a part of that I have never experiences will come alive. When I do take this trip, I plan to document it well on my blog. It will be an unforgettable experience that I would like to share with everyone.

Santa Came Early

Monday, December 22nd, 2003

Wow today was a great day for gifts. I didn’t get much done with work because my mind was on some faraway planet. Today I got the new computer bag that my dad got me. It’s so nice! Check it out, I posted a picture of it. Kenneth Cole! Fancy! Also my Best Buy Rewards coupons came today. Since I bought my dad’s laptop with them I got $90.00 in coupons. So after I finish work and walk Lola, I’m running to Best Buy to get my gameboy advanced, which will definately gaurantee that I will always be playing games. What can I say I’m a big kid at heart!

They had a medium sized earthquake today in central California which makes me think twice before wanting to move over there. My coworkers said that they got dizzy from the shaking. Our office is in West LA in a big highrise and we are in the 15th floor. Nice! But I don’t think it’s enough to deter me from moving over there. If they ever offer me a relocation package.

If I had to guess at what the future is going to look like, I’ll probably end up buying property in South Florida, and staying here. It’s probably the best setup even though my heart was set for the adventure at hand in Los Angeles. Oh well. You never really know what the future has in store. I’ll just play it by ear, and hopefully save some money in the meantime!

I need to start hitting the gym. I’ve been anxious like crazy lately. Going to the gym helps me produce endorphins which mellow me out. It also makes me feel better because I feel like I am not the lazy ass that I really am! Even though I’m buying that new gameboy today, I’m still gonna work out tonight damnit. Unless I can figure out a good excuse not too!

I also got my final grades from NOVA today. I got straight A’s!!! A 4.0. I haven’t done that in a long time. This is definately a good sign of things to come with graduate school. The next semester starts in early January and the classes that I’m taking are Networking and Operating Systems. One of the classes requires real classroom time over the internet real-time, so that should be interesting.

I’ll write some more tomorrow and let you know how late I stayed up playing with my new gameboy advanced.

Weekend Gone By Too Fast

Sunday, December 21st, 2003

Well there goes another weekend! It went by so damn fast! But I did get some stuff done this weekend! Yesterday Rafael came over and Mario and I did some shopping. I bought some stuff for my bathroom and a bath tray so that I can put my book on when I take a long bath. Before I used to get all my textbooks wet because I had no where to put them.

When Rafael came over we went to Publix to get some sushi and wine, for a party that Mario’s cousin was having. We got ready and headed over there. It was very cold for South Florida last night. It was in the 50’s. We got to Rodrigo’s place and there were only two other people there! It turned out that it was more of a get together then a party. Rodrigo’s boyfriend, who I finally wanted to meet, was still working. So I never got to meet him. Mario was drunk by this time with some Sour Green Apple mix we bought. In true ghetto fashion he bought the drink in a coffee warmer.

Rafael and I had one drink each and then we said our goodbyes and headed for the Ramrod. It was Mario’s first time there so he was scared shitless. Once we were there for a couple of minutes Mario calmed down a little. It wasn’t as packed as when Rafael and I went last weekend. There was no raunchiness I can see. But we did meet a cute boy from Albaquerqie, NM. We talked to him for a while but then he headed to the Coliseum to check that place out. After the Ramrod we headed to Boom for a couple of seconds, and I stumbled into Georgie’s Alibi. It was kind of dead so I headed back and I found Mario and Rafael coming out. We decided to go to Denny’s for some breakfast before heading home.

That was the fun and exciting Saturday that I had! Today I was supposed to go to my godparent’s house for dinner. But I told them that it was Luis’s birthday. The truth is that I was so damn tired and didn’t want to go anywhere today. I wanted to fix my website some and play on the playstation, and also help Mario install the computer I gave him.

I put up a new guestboard on my site. You can go to it by clicking the boards button on the menu. I also fixed the chat room which was broken before. The webcam is also working. I just have to start chatting and webcamming more often!

I’m going to enjoy a nice bath with all my new shower toys. I’ll let you know how much fun I have! Make sure to leave me comments in the guest book page if you read this blog! I would greatly appreciate it!

Pets and Stress A Winning Combo

Friday, December 19th, 2003

Well it’s time to introduce the pets. Mario, my roommate, and I have amassed quite a collection of pets. We started with just Lola, the beagle. I got her as a present from Roscoe for my Her name was Lola. birthday while I was at college. She’s been my companion ever since. I can’t imagine life without my Lola! When Mario and I moved into NewRiver Village he wanted to get another pet. We were going to get a dog but ended up adopting a kitten at the pound. Rocco, as we called him, is my first cat, and suprisingly, I like cats more than I thought. He’s a little devil but he’s so much fun to play with. Unless you are trying to sleep and he’s biting your feet at 4:00am. Then he’s not so fun.

Finally for Christmas Mario gave me a fish tank with four goldfish. I loved this present because I love fish tanks. They really help me relax and I have them behind me where I work so that I can stare at them when I get too stressed out. Today I went out and bought some neon fishies and a cleaner fish. Now we have nine fish in total! I haven’t named any of them, because I’d forget all their names. So I just call them fishies! Fishies! They are great. Enjoy the pics of my pets. As we get more animals I’ll post their pics! If it was up to me, I’d live in a ranch and have a zoo. But I like the city lifestyle so I won’t be doing that just yet. Rocco

Speaking of fish and relieving stress, another keyword in my life is stress. To know me is to know how drama and stressful I can get. I partly inherited stress and anxiety from my mother, and the other part I just picked up from all my neurotic friends. I’m currently taking lexapro, which has eased a lot of the anxiety, and has helped me leaps and bounds with my social anxiety. I used to be real bad. Now I find myself being more social around people. It’s tough to have social anxiety and on top of that I work from home, so you can imagine the only human interaction I have is with my roommate and my friends when they come to visit. Oh and my family too! My friends accuse me of always trying to medicate them with anti-anxiety and depression medicine, but believe if you knew them, you would know they need it, and badly! Luis is an anxiety whore and a hypocondriac. It’s a wonderful combo believe me! And Rafael! Wow, he needs a whole entry. I’ll get into that one some other time!Visit for more information.

It’s friday night but I don’t think I’m going out. I’ll probably have some dinner, play Hobbit on the playstation2 and then hit the gym for a while. I want to go to the bathhouse, but I would never go alone, so I”m trying to convince my ghetto ass friends to go. Luis is the best prospect because he likes to go. Rafael is always broke, ALWAYS BROKE, and Mario says he doesn’t “pay for sex”, but please he pays for AOL, which he uses to hook up exclusively and


Oh yeah totally unrelated, I got straight A’s for my first semester doing my Master’s in Computer Science. I’m so damn happy. I was worried about the second class because I thought I didn’t do that well on the final but it turns out I got an A- on the final and an A in the final class. It’s good to finally get straight A’s. My undergraduate career was more about partying than taking school seriously! Hehehhe hopefully I’ve out grown those days! Although I still do like to party.


Luis’ Birthday

Friday, December 19th, 2003

Well that new web hosting company I was trying out was horrible. They were incredibly slow and I decided to switch back to However, during the time of the switch I lost out on some emails and I wasn’t able to post to my blog! I’ll make up for it by writing in it now at 3:52am!

Today I celebrated Luis’ birthday. Luis and I in our college days. He is one of my oldest and best friends. I’ve known him since I was in high school and he helped me come out our senior year of high school. For dinner we took him to Madames restaurant. It’s a themed restaurant where drag queens serve you dinner and there is a show every 15 minutes or so. It was pretty dead since it was a Thursday night. Even though the menu was limited the food was good and the show was entertaining. Although I thought the drag could have been a little bit more interactive and vicious.

Afterwards we went to Cupids Cabaret. It’s the only male full nude gay strip bar in Miami. The cover was waved if you bought an unwrapped toy so Erica, Luis, and I bought three gifts at Walgreens to get it! The crowd was kind of small but there were some hot strippers. My favorite was Nitro. He had a shaved head, which is my favorite, and he had a huge monster dick! I love sitting up in the front of the stage and making them work for their money!

Luis took one of the hot strippers to the VIP room. He payed way too much money, but at least now we know what goes down. He gave the stripper some head for about 20 minutes and that was worth about $160.00. Heheh don’t think he’ll be doing that again! I just got home from the night recently, and everytime I go to Cupid’s I get so damn horny from all those boys. So I’m online and looking for some fun this morning! I hope I’ll be able to get up tomorrow to work.

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"I have quite a collection of journals. It's not so much that I write a lot. I have this bad habit of starting a new journal when I start a new chapter in life. Either I have had many turning points in my life, or I just wanted an excuse to buy new journals!"

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